[A Letter...]

[Turtle Manifesto]

By Gr33nM3ani3

Leonardo: It has come to our attention that many of you suck at writing.

Raphael: We want you to take yer GODDAMN girlie-dramas and shove 'em up yer F*CKIN' TEENAGE TW@TS!

Donatello: We have definite parameters to our personalities, abilities, and social skills. You can't just IGNORE those!

Michelangelo: I'm not so stupid that I'd seriously be hung up on a Furby. Dude. That's just an INSULT!! … I mean, sure, if I'd been using the thing to torment Raph… but I wouldn't bond with the thing.

Leonardo: To that end we'd like to ask you, formally, to leave us the hell alone.

Raphael: I AIN'T GOIN' TA ANOTHA F*CKIN' POWERPUFF GIRLS PAJAMA PARTY!! If you think OTHERWISE, I'll beat you BLOODY.

Donatello: Author insertion fictions are cheap and pointless.

Michelangelo: There's no way in HELL I'd chill with you guys even if I could.

Leonardo: So. Please. Mutagen monsters. Supernatural threats...

Raphael: Hordes a' F*CKIN' NINJAS...

Donatello: Mad scientists...

Michelangelo: Aliens bent on anal probing all sentient life on Earth!!

Leonardo: But, please, no more fan-girls.

Raphael: I hate you.

Donatello: Really, it only makes us want to kill you.

Michelangelo: We ARE ninjas!!! We COULD kill you!!

Leonardo: We haven't so far, because we're tolerant, HONORABLE ninjas.

Raphael: But my HONOR ain't goin' through anotha goddamn "Midnight on the F*ckin' Fairgrounds" with a horde of giggly, brainless teeny-boppers.

Donatello: So knock it off.

Michelangelo: We asked you nicely.

Leonardo: Quit putting yourself in our fictions. We don't like playing "house" with you.

Splinter: If you all did not blow so badly, we would never have had to be so blunt. The blame is laid squarely on your shoulders.

---Thank you for your time,Leo, Don, Mike, Raph, and Splinter-Sensei









The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles®, including characters Michaelangelo®, Leonardo®, Donatello®, Raphael®, Splinter®, April O'Neil®, Casey Jones®, Klunk®, Shadow® and the Shredder® and all related materials are © Mirage Studios USA.