What made me put up a Ninja Turtle fan website?

Well this website, what made me do it you may ask. Well I guess it started when I first went online which was around...oh man, I think it was 1997. I hadn't my own computer but visited the local internet cafe every Saturday and Sunday which were my days off work. I went there when it opened and stayed all day until it closed which was sometimes around 8pm. All I did was read the mailing lists email and read TMNT Fan Fiction, marvelling at how these fans made their work available to anyone. I can remember definately the people who influenced me into wanting my own webspace, Dawnatello and her "Changes" Trilogy was one of the first fics I ever read, and it was amazing to how real she made the guys. I wanted to have that... do that for someone else. I wanted my own site and planned to make one, but something came into my way stopping me.

HTML - Short for Hyper Text Markup Language. An essential part of web site making you need to know before even thinking of making a site of your own. So I put the little project aside for then, not having any TMNT fanfics of my own to put up anyway and work kept me busy. But still I went online every weekend and when I found IRC, I couldn't keep away, staying online even longer and eating up a lot of my weeks pay on hourly usage and printouts. But I was happy with my new-found online life. There were people like me, the same age and who still liked TMNT as I did. And knowing I wasn't alone with my fandom all those years after Turtlemania died down, it was comforting.

Then I moved to where I am now, I'm happy... I've got a comp at home and online access. What more could a girl ask for? Well the 'not-having-my-own-website' thing still bothered me. If I didn't have fics for people to read, I'd fill the rest with myself, giving my honest opinions and general ravings about anything and everything. But the HTML still was in my way. So in January, 2000, I was on a holiday in Queensland and took the initiative to buy a book on what exactly HTML was about and how to learn it. I remember the twelve hour drive back I read the book cover to cover while scribbling down notes on what the basic layout would be. When I got home and back on my computer I was amazed at how easy it was to put into practice without even looking at the book anymore. And so, I got into writing TMNT Fan Fiction to make my site at least enjoyable and TMNT related, because it was my life's passion and I wanted to share it with others.

When did I first put it on the Web?

It was June when I first created the site and uploaded it on a free web host. The content was finished and eventually, on June 28th 2000, I posted my first attempt at a website. It was very basic to say the least. All that mattered that I had the information on it, I could worry about the look later. (Which isn't really a good habit) And a couple of months later, I changed the page and made it with frames. I was just experimenting at the time with different looks but I found out some people's browsers don't support them so they went and the current design is the one that came next.

Not long after I added more interactivity within the site, adding a Guestbook, Web Poll, TMNT Forum and a new counter to see how many people actually came through here. And the numbers that it says come through here is amazing to say the least. The highest amount of visitors in one day was September 4th with 109 visits. For some of the top notch TMNT websites that may be a below average but for me it's a big deal. When I first had a website I wanted to be the best, but after a few years you learn that it isn't about a race for a popularity contest, it's about having a site that shows people, 'Hey this is my website and this is what it's about'. But yeah I do take it personal if people do or do not like my work, so thanks for everyone who's taken the time to visit :)

Why did my site disappeared for over the past six months

With all the good that comes from having a website, there's also the bad. As some people may know, this site was tampered with and was deleted on the 21st of November 2001. Ironic thing was that, the very day before this happened I was reconsidering keeping the site as I was in somewhat of a dark period. I didn't really tell people, I was experiencing extremes of emotions. Hyper one minute, angry the next. I tried to act normal to people irl, but inside I was feeling very doubtful of my self-worth. I took the website incident as a sign to let the site die and get on with life. Besides I had someone to hold me up until the wounds healed and I was almost happy I didn't have to worry about updates anymore.

I kept a temporary site mainly for my artwork, TMNT and otherwise but it wasn't the same. I just didn't have that same feeling I used to get when I'd look at it. I wasn't proud of it. I was still having difficulty with dealing with some stuff and I closed it down and took a offline hiatus in because I couldn't even bring myself to go near a computer anymore, it just hurt too much.

Why I put the site back up

I wasn't gonna even put this site back up until one night early June 2002 I was going through all my files on my computer to check what I needed to backup for when I was gonna reformat the computer that weekend. I hadn't even used the computer for two weeks at a time which was very different to how much I *used* to use it. The comp's still seriously screwing up with bugs in it. Well not the comp really, just the programs.

Anywaaaaay, I came across my old saved version of some pages of the site I found in a folder that I hadn't noticed for ages. I hovered over it and considered deleting it. I mean, what was dead was dead, it was in the past and it was not who I was anymore. I was a TMNT fan and this site did mean a lot to me, but what happened to it--was it a sign to let it rest? I decided that if I were to kill it, I might as well take one last look. Going through it brought back some good memories, and late that night/early morning I hadn't moved from my seat. I was just staring at the main page, the images were all broken except for the background and then the voice in my head said, "You know, I think I can do this...".

When I woke up that morning I sat back at the computer and loaded the page again. I got a notepad and started writing down notes. Maybe I *could* do this. Then I got *really* enthusiastic and started planning out the site, the images and content. Ever since that day I have been constantly working on the site to what it is today on when I re-opened it, also the date in which I created it. June 28th. It was strange that within that one moment of opening up that folder that I decided what was to be. And I'm glad I chose that one last look :)

My plans for the future

I want to go back and be the person I used to be. Amanda, a TMNT fan. Someone who draws Ninja Turtles, keeps them going in people's minds. I wanna stick with it this time, everything that has happened to this site or me in the past is forgiven and just that, in the past. I'm sick of hiding myself. Who I am and what I like is my own damn business.

I will be updating or trying to improve the site whenever I can. I love how I can show people on the other side of the world what I've drawn or written. I know this site isn't like other fan's, it's mine, it makes me me and I wouldn't give it up for the world :)

And that's how it should be ^_^

~ Amanda the Webmistress
28th June 2002